yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Randomize
