he wants to bone in the snuggie
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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