Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
