Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
