Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
