The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
