his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Randomize
