made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
