And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize