I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
