I've blown a few things in my day
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Please don't give away my fajitas
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
