No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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