how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Randomize
