She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
