Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize
