carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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