As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
