This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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