Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
