The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
