Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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