It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
