My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
