they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
