yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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