I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
