We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
