As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
