My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
