you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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