i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
