I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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