the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I want a musical about memes.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
