This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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