think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
