my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
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