You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
