I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
She has the best kind of daddy issues
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Randomize
