i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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