STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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