Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
