My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
