Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
