i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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