Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Randomize
