i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize