Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
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