I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Randomize
