I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
handjob tips. give me some.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
