Plan B is the new Plan A
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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