i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
