apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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