I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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