It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
