He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
True college students do jello shots in the library
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