I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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