I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
