She's JV to your varsity
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
