sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
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