so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
ugly people sure do ruin things
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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