Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
