I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
do nipples grow back?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
