I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
why is half of my head shaved?
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