i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Randomize
