This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize