Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
