You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
