I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
