his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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