Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Randomize
