a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
