Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
